Fuck Up by Keith Welch

My father was no gentleman
an unhandy handyman
my inheritance was a lack
of project planning skills
in my hands a screwdriver
becomes a hammer
and a hammer becomes a
weapon of mass destruction
Through force of will
I have improved; I can usually
succeed on the second or third try
I am the Cardinal of the crooked
and the Sultan of the stripped screw
The sensitive, entering my home
may be struck with dizziness
close your eyes and take a few deep
breaths; you’ll be fine
If I persist I may achieve manliness
but electrocution is just as likely.

# # #

Keith Welch lives in Bloomington, IN with his cat Alice C. Toklas (The ‘C’ is for ‘Cat’). He has poems in Dime Show review, Open: Journal of Arts & Letters, and Literary Orphans, among other fine journals. He thanks you for reading his poems and invites you to follow him on Twitter @Outraged_Poet.

Photo: Matt Artz

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